What I Learned From My Mom: Jazz Hands and Fisticuffs

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My Mom has a language all her own. Well, for all the etymology geeks out there, it’s not so much a language as a vernacular or even a jargon. No matter how you categorize it, it’s a sort of word pizzazz that’s distinctly hers.

Over the years, we’ve collected these terms with the goal of someday making a bound thesaurus — a Mom-saurus if you will. (Though, on second thought, that may sound more like something from the Paleolithic era than a word reference). Semantics aside, it’d be packed with turns of phrase, idioms, and sayings that just might be on an endangered words list were it not for my mother.

A few of the real gems include terms like: ravs instead of ravioli; sconces for, well, sconces but used at a rate higher than that of true sconce sightings; fisticuffs for any sort of run-in, but, when said, it must be accompanied by the action of spinning clenched fists under your chin in the manner of the Fighting Irish mascot; and excessive use of the word traipsing, as in, “the cat was traipsing about the garden with no regard for the orchids I had just planted.”
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Urban Legends And Eggs

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So, I’ve got a thing with eggs. I could eat them for any meal, at any time, and any number of ways. There’s a culinary urban legend that the number of pleats in a traditional chef’s hats is directly correlated to the number of ways to cook eggs and, while I’ve never found concrete evidence backing that claim, it’s fair to say there are at least 5 kajillion ways to make eggs.

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